with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i now understand why vodka
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
