the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
