but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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