yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i now understand why vodka
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
