I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize