remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what day is it and did you see me today?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize