Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
