I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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