I think im going to throw up on grandma
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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