Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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