No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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