my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
