so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
