and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
