I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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