Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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