she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
