i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
