I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
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i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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