remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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