FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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