I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
