The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize