There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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