i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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