What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
