For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
