Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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