Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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