how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
