My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it glows. i had to have it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
