so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
