So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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