I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
only you would photoshop your dick
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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