I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
