i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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