Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
