Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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