I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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