Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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