I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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