honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
