whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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