Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
