We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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