none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
