4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
