The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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