last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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