Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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