I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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