He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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