Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
