well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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