I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
