he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
