yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Everything about him screamed your future.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
