3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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